Is there ever a time
where we can be really shure
that the way that we are going
is bringing us
close
to enlightenment
willing to trust
that life will guide me there

Lately I have not been on Gaia very much, somehow the feel of the site has changed this last year. Or did I change? Well probably both have happend. The thing is that I am seriously contemplating to step out of the community. Of course there are some people with whom I would like to keep contact ( now a days that is possible) and I will surely look in for a visit.
Spiritual growt can happen anywhere, and sharing of this with likeminded people is important, this community is now developing in my daily live, with people that I can go and have a coffee with or just together with and and and.....
So please do not regret my leaving as life is just enfolding and evolving in its everlasting beauty..

Namaste
Katerina

 

The boughs on the trees, full of sap, leaves waiting to burst out joyfully to greet the spring.

Normally I read horoscopes just for the fun and the giggle, But just read the predictions for the chinese year of the ox (which I am) and strangely enough there is one thing that sticks in my mind. It says (not precisely in these words) that I should say more what I am feeling inside, what I am struggling with.
Realising that this is something I find hard to do, as it always feels like what I am going through inside is not so important, not really worth bothering someone else with.
It has been a while now that I feel there is something moving inside, without really knowing what it is. There has been a lot of change in my life lately, my partner being gone for a whole month, and me changing my professional direction - becoming a massage therapist. But somehow the business is not taking off, which makes me doubt about myself, about the road I am taking.
So many questions.......
Trying to stay open, to see it all from a bigger perspective, but it is not easy and there are a lot of moments of sadness.
Doing my meditation everyday and thoughts flying through like crazy during practice, just sitting with them, not trying to push them away or following them, and even if that happens, not to be upset with myself.
Just had a big realisation yesterday that somehow deep down I still do not really like myself, still find fault easily, to fat, not getting the business to run.... and so one (guess you all know what that feels like) But the realisation has helped to look it in the face and ask why....? and to see that I am worthy.

It will still need a lot of work and practice, can see that I am still at the beginning, and the more that is being uncovered the more layers show themselves underneath.

hopefully yours

Have been reflecting where my hang up is? Just invested a lot of time in a formation to become a thai massage therapist. Returning home, wanting to share what I learned, feeling that this is really what I want to do.
Made heaps of flyers, bringing them by in shops and sending them out by mail, writing emails to friends and other people I know (whom where defenitely interested before I left to study).
And now, nothing....... no work, no money coming in., as I am self-employed this is quite frustrating and scary (how are we going to pay the bills?)
Have been selfemployed in another area (stone carving) for 15 years, and there the same seemed to be happening.
Investing myself a lot, but also staying true to my inspirations, not wanting to ''sell'' myself just to make a lot of money. Is it here that I am going wrong?
It is not that I want to become incredebly rich, that is defenitely not my goal. Just being able to live, pay the rent and the bills.

Thanks for listening, just needed to get this of my chest, and maybe some you might have an idea or two.

Namaste

Looking deeply, at any''thing''
we can discover the beauty that is hidding within
We forget to appreciate the everyday sights
of the people around us
a comfortable chair,
the stairs to station,
the tree outside our window...
and many many more....
It is normally the beauty of an unexpected place
that touches our heart with its grace
hidding beneath the shells of ugliness
there is at its core
tenderness.
So do we create the beauty that is already there
or is not our eyes that suddenly see clear

.......

A while back, quite some time ago actually, a friend send me a video about the beginning of the universe - from the big bang, and how we are all made of stardust - carbon... It was a man speaking and explaining. Do not remember the title or the author - but maybe it sounds familiar to one of you.
Thanks

with all that is happening in Gaza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Furfjeove0M


This is a wonderful song, just love their music.